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Interesting fact: although people in Korea generally view marijuana use as being no different from molesting children, traditional Korean medicine smells virtually identical to marijuana. You can be walking around a massive city of millions of people here, where there won’t be a stoner for hundreds of miles in every direction, and suddenly you’ll catch the unmistakeable hippy school scent of marijuana wafting through the air like an invisible Chinese dragon. It really does have the exact same smoky fart twang. But it isn’t marijuana—if it were, the cops, who are usually pretty hands-off, would throw you in the slammer for decades.

Enjoyed this tidbit? No? That is physically impossible. Physicists will tell you about the Ian James equation, an unbreakable law that permeates the universe. Get ready for it. The math here is a little complex, but if you put on your concentration cap,you should be able to get the gist of it:

Ian James + you = fun.

So I’m going to ask you one more time. Did you enjoy this tidbit? Yes? My book, The Hotel of Insanity, has tons of anecdotes just like it—but each is approximately one million times more entertaining. Just reading the first sentence will have you laughing so hard your dog (if you have a dog) will get up from the couch to make sure you’re okay. If you don’t have a dog, then the laughter will be loud enough to compel the nearest canine to pay you—a hysterical human—a courtesy call.

You’d better pick it up soon—it’ll only be on sale for the next thousand years, which is a blink in the eyes of eternity.