Product Placement

Quick reminder, if you guys like my writing—judging by the likes I get here, a bunch of you do, so thank you—you should check out my ebooks. Teakettle Mountain is about what would happen if you took a recent American college graduate and dumped him in an elementary school in Korea?, Kingdoms in the Sun is the sequel, in which said English teacher conquers the heart of a Korean princess, and Idol Smasher—again with the Korea!—is about a Jewish crossdresser from Islamic Spain who gets marooned in medieval Korea along with her silk road-tripping crew of Byzantines, Franks, and Ethiopians.

Not to toot my own horn, but these are the greatest works of art ever conceived of, and if you take a picture of yourself with a copy of one of my ebooks on your kindle or iPhone or whatever and send it to me I will be happy to publish it here and send you an autographed copy of the paper version of Idol Smasher, which will be worth enough money, in the future, to pay for a four-bedroom colonial revival.

Future books, hopefully traditionally published—I’ve been querying agents for two or three years now, with some modest success in the form of manuscript requests but not the necessary breakthrough, which I am confident I will achieve sooner or later—will not really concern Korea. One is about time-traveling fascists, another is about colonizing another planet, both are so awesome you will be crying with joy for years on end at the sheer beauty and magnitude of their prosody, characterization, and three-act structures.